Funny Jokes For The Day

1.

A boy asked his father, "Dad, how much does it cost to get married?" 

Father grimly replied, "I wouldn’t know son, I'm still not done paying for it."

2.

Women are saints. They forgive you even when you’re not guilty!

3.

Quote: 
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

 Henry Youngman...

 4.

Wife: “In my dreams, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring”.

Husband: “I had a similar dream and I saw your dad paying the bill”. Lol!

5.

 A teenage boy to his father: "Father, I am not a virgin anymore."

Father: "Wow that's great. Come, let's sit down and drink something to celebrate this moment."
Son: "Ok, I can drink with you but I really cannot sit down for a while...

6.

At a swimming pool: Three guys climb a high-dive tower and meet a good fairy who offers to fulfill a wish for each of them. One jumps and says, "Beer!" - and the pool is full of beer. The other one jumps, says, "Money!" and the pool is full of money. The last one starts to jump but slips and, falling, yells, "SHIIIIIIT!!!"